Y'all Come Back Now
by blondie
Summary: Upon returning to New York, Abbie runs into a former lover. Will she choose the old love or will a new one win her heart?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer - I don't own them. Someone else does. But God, isn't Angie Harmon hot:)

Summary:

Abbie/Oliva. Abbie left New York because Olivia broke her heart. Now that she's back in NY she finds herself in a dilemma...

.I'd forgotten how cold it gets up here!" Abbie exclaimed as she stepped out of the cab and looked up at the falling snow. "Y'all need to remind me of these things before inviting me back to Yankee territory," she continued, glancing over her shoulder at the gray-haired man following her out of the car.

"Like you hadn't spent years here, bundled up under some long wool coat and scarf." Jack McCoy retorted sarcastically. "It's your own fault. You're the one who headed for warmer pastures before realizing the error of your ways." His gaze softened. " Besides, it's good to have you back in town." He smiled at Abbie and put his arm around her shoulder, guiding her into the imposing apartment building.

When Jack had called three weeks ago, Abbie had been hesitant to accept his offer. As the new District Attorney, he had close ties to the Attorney General's office, and together they had developed a new position that they desperately wanted Abbie to "take for a test run". The department dealt more with civil law, specifically constitutional rights for gays and lesbians. Abbie had been intrigued, particularly since she'd spent the last year in Alpine, Texas working on land contracts and cattle purchases. Truth be told, she'd simply been hiding out, nursing a broken heart, living on nothing but beer and fudge. The position, while a dream job anyway, was also the excuse Abbie needed to return to New York. And Olivia...

Somehow Jack had maneuvered Abbie into the elevator and off again, finally coming to a stop in front of Abbie's apartment door. "This should work out for you until you have time to find something more to your taste," he stated smugly as he slid the key into the lock and opened the door. Abbie stopped in her tracks, staring mutely at the loft that spread out before her. Hard-wood floors, floor to ceiling windows, and a magnificent view of Central Park.. More importantly, she didn't see Olivia's ghost lurking in every corner, didn't smell her distinctive cologne on the air, didn't hear her voice whispering from the other room. This apartment and this job were a new page in Abbie's life, and she stepped into both with anticipation.

"Jack, it's perfect. Thanks so much for doing all the leg work on this one."

"It was really no trouble. My assistant hunted, filled out apps, picked out the furniture. I just gave orders and, finally, my stamp of approval. I had a feeling you'd like this one, so close to Central Park for your early morning runs. Cath is the one who really deserves the thanks for this. You can thank her yourself, in person, tomorrow when you come take a tour of your new digs," Jack replied as he walked to the door. "I'll leave you to get settled in. Just make your way to the office whenever you get around to it tomorrow. I don't expect you to set up shop until Monday, so take your time and get a feel for the big city again. I'm sure it smells a lot better here that the wild west."

Abbie slapped Jack playfully on the arm and then pulled him in for a hug. It felt so good to be home. Closing the door behind him, Abbie turned around to take another look at her new residence. The black leather couch was complimented by black and white stills of the Texas landscape while the dining area was painted a warm Longhorns orange. Abbie smiled, thinking that perhaps Catherine had gone overboard on the Texas theme. Still, it was comforting, and Abbie was pleased that Jack had taken the time to create this oasis for her. He was the only person that she had told about Olivia, their relationship, and finally, their break up.

Suddenly weary, Abbie sat down on the couch and gazed out the window, watching the snow fall...

"It's only temporary Abbie. I just need to know that I'm not settling, that I'm not scared to be alone. You and I, we jumped into this so quickly, and I just want to be sure that I'm not making a mistake here," Olivia said, not looking at Abbie.

"Wow, that's comforting. Settling... Making a mistake... Why don't you just come out and admit that there's somebody else and you want to give her a go?" Abbie replied, her tone biting and hurt.

"It's not like that. I mean... Well... Alex is... Look. I don't feel comfortable discussing this with you. I love you, you know that, but I have to explore these other feelings and make sure that this is the right choice for me."

"Fine, you go ahead and "explore" all the feelings you want. I'm not going to be here when you're finished though. I don't need to "explore". I already know what I want." Abbie began weeping softly.

"I have to go. My shift starts in half an hour. Can we talk again tomorrow?"

"Go. What more could there be to discuss? You've already moved your stuff. What's left? Look Liv, I want you to be happy, and if that's not with me, then so be it. I was your first and I should've known better than to think... Anyway... Go... Explore... I hope Alex is all that you need her to be."

"Abbie." Olivia breathed her name.

"Go." Abbie replied shortly, not looking at her.

"Please, understand..."

"Understand what? That it's not me, it's you? That you need to "explore"? That you need your freedom? I'm not thirteen Liv, I've already been there. I do understand. Does that make it less painful for me? No! Please, just go. I'm a big girl. I've dealt with this before, and I won't die when you walk out that door."

Olivia picked up her bag and walked slowly to the door. This wasn't how it was supposed to end, but she'd been the one that dealt the final blow. Truth be known, she was scared, but damned if she was going to tell Abbie that. Alex was easy, didn't require a commitment, was more content to focus on her career with mindless sex as a side note. Abbie wanted it all, the white picket fence, 2.5 kids and a dog. Olivia just wasn't used to that type of confidence in the future.

To Be Continued


	2. Chapter 2

The sunlight shone in, brightly flooding the bedroom. Abbie had been up for hours. Finally giving up on sleep she rummaged through boxes of clothes before finding shoes, some old Longhorns track shorts and a worn t-shirt, and set out to explore new paths in her neighborhood. She'd tossed and turned all night, pondering the wisdom of returning to New York; torn between calling Olivia just to say hi and packing her bags to leave town immediately; worried about what to say when the two of them inevitably crossed paths.

'Let it go, Abbie' she told herself as she ran. 'It's been two years. She's moved on. Why haven't you?' And there was the sticking point... Why hadn't she moved on? She'd briefly dated a college Lit professor during her Alpine stint, but in such a small, conservative town it became difficult to maintain such a "scandalous" relationship. Abbie hadn't been too broken up when Clare ended it.

Jogging down 79th , she rounded the corner and headed towards Central Park. Coming to an abrupt halt, she leaned forward, hands on her knees, squeezing her eyes shut and hoping that she didn't just see what she thought she saw. There, not fifteen feet away from her, stood Olivia and Elliot, notebooks in hand, questioning a witness, while Fin and Munch cuffed a perp and led him to the awaiting unmarked vehicle. As Abbie stood on the sidewalk, her brain frantically working to determine her next move, Liv looked up from the notepad and made eye contact. Abbie watched as a myriad of emotions flashed across the other woman's face.

"So you're telling us that you heard..." Olivia looked up at the witness as she was asking the question, her words trailing off as she saw Abbie Carmichael turn the corner and stop. Abbie Carmichael... Back in New York... God, she'd missed her. Olivia searched Abbie's face looking for a sign of friendship, or at least non-hostility, and caught the glimmer of warmth in her eyes.

"El, can you finish this up?" she turned to her partner, subtly gesturing over at Abbie. He gave a brief nod and took over the questioning while Olivia attempted to stroll casually to where Abbie was standing. Wiping her palms on her brown trousers, she fervently hoped that she'd manage a coherent sentence when got close enough to speak.

"Hey Liv" Abbie said casually, as if they'd just seen each other yesterday. She forced herself to hold onto the grin on her face, not allowing her lips to tremble or her voice to quiver. 'God, she looks amazing!' Abbie thought, her stomach tying itself into a tighter knot.

"Abbie" Liv rejoined, standing awkwardly in front of her former lover. Her memory quickly flashed back to their last meeting, the angry words spoken, the tears and accusations. Suddenly all Olivia wanted to do was take Abbie into her arms and erase the years that had separated them, erase her former doubts. She had found, almost as soon as the door had slammed behind her, that she missed Abbie with an ache, her heart squeezed with regret. Stubbornly she'd continued down the hall and out of Abbie's life, her fear of emotional intimacy stronger, at the time, than her love for this woman.

Now, after all this time, Abbie was standing in front of her again, and Olivia vowed not to miss this opportunity. Lord knows that life doesn't give too many second chances. 'What do I have to lose?' she questioned herself, stepping forward and pulling Abbie into her arms.

Abbie wasn't sure what to make of the embrace, but it felt so familiar and so comforting that she found herself returning it, pulling Olivia even closer. Her senses were alive as she reveled in the feeling of holding Olivia again. Without thinking, she nuzzled against Liv's neck, kissing it gently. Olivia's low moan in Abbie's ear brought Abbie back to reality. 'What am I DOING?' Abbie thought to herself as she pulled out of the embrace. "Liv... Um... Hey, you wanna go get a coffee?" Abbie stammered as she worked to regain her composure.

Olivia stepped back, a blush rising up her neck. "Oh, uh... Yeah. That sounds great. Um..." Olivia looked back at Elliott, frantically hoping that he'd come to her rescue while at the same time wondering what it was exactly that she thought he'd be able to do. She caught his eye though, and his smirk as he gave her a thumbs up sign. He was closing his notebook and walking towards her, smiling at Abbie. "Well well well, if it isn't Abigail Carmichael back in the big city." He said as he pulled her into a bear hug. Abbie didn't even try to smother the laughter as she snuggled into Elliott's leather jacket.

"El, it's been WAY too long." She replied, smiling and tightening her grip on the tough detective. "Y'all wouldn't believe the panty-waist cops they've got down there in Alpine. They wouldn't know what to do with a felony case. It's good to be home."

"It's good to have you home." Elliott responded, letting go of Abbie so he could get a better look. "Looks like they don't feed you much down there in God's country. When you're all settled in, you'll have to let me take you out for some pizza and beer, get you healthy again." he laughed, grinning at her.

"It's a date." She stated. Then, looking at Olivia, she continued "Would you mind if I borrowed your partner for a bit? We've got some catching up to do."

"Not a problem. Liv, I'll put you down for lost time. See you back at the house."

"Thanks El. Back in a bit. Call if anything comes up." Olivia replied nervously. She and Abbie were alone again. How did they begin a conversation that was two years overdue?


	3. Chapter 3

Abbie grinned silently as she watched Olivia doctor her coffee - one sugar, one Sweet-n-Low, one creamer, same as always. Olivia looked up from her stirring and grinned in response. "Same old me, huh?" she stated, taking a sip.

"You look good Liv" Abbie replied, her tone serious and quiet.

"Abbie..."

"Nah, it's alright. I'd thought about calling you when Jack offered me the job, but I didn't want it to influence my decision. Then, with all the work of selling my house, packing, everything, I figured I'd call when I got here. Then... Anyway, I don't want things to be awkward between us. We may end up working together here and there. And besides, we always were good friends so lets just start from there," Abbie stated, rushing through her speech before emotion got in the way. She hoped it sounded simultaneously logical and friendly. No sense letting Olivia know that deep down inside she was pining, just a bit, although the hug on the street may have given a clue as to Abbie's feelings.

"Sure, Abbie, I'd like that. You know, I always wanted to apologize, but..." Olivia began.

"No need for apologies. We're starting fresh. So, what have you been up to?" Abbie interrupted, switching the conversation to safer topics.

Two hours later Liv walked quietly into the department, unnoticed by everyone except Elliott who gave her a wink and a questioning look.

"Did we get a break in the case?" Olivia asked, her tone business-like and impersonal.

"Elliott looked hard at his partner, confusion clouding his face. Judging from Olivia's closed expression, her "date" with Abbie had not gone well. Deciding it was wiser to keep his mouth shut, Elliott simply handed her the new information.

Olivia stared blankly at the paperwork in front of her. Her head was swimming with conflicting thoughts. 'Abbie's back. What the hell do I do now?' Never in a million years had Olivia expected that. Well, briefly she'd hoped and prayed that Abbie would return, forgive Olivia's brief panic, and the world would be right again.

Liv's relationship with Alex had been short-lived. The minute Abbie left New York Olivia had begun to resent Alex, quickly ending the unfulfilling relationship. Torn between searching for Abbie and moving on without her, Olivia had lived a sort of half-life, getting through the workday simply on instinct alone. For the first six months she barely slept, hardly ate, and dropped twenty pounds from her already slender frame. Finally Elliott had pulled her aside, given her a stern talking to, and introduced her to Helena, a friend of a friend. While that relationship had ended before it got off the ground it forced Olivia back into the dating game, albeit unwillingly at first.

Now, two years later, Liv and Casey Novak were going strong, even discussing the possibility of cohabitation. Trouble was, no one on the squad knew they were dating. Casey, much like Alex, was ambitious and didn't want the hint of lesbianism to stall her career. Now Olivia was torn. Should she continue a promising, although secret, relationship with the red-haired attorney, or open herself up to the possibility of a rekindled romance with Abbie?

"Problem with the information Liv?" Elliott questioned, seeing Olivia's forehead crease into a frown.

"What? Oh. No, it's pretty straight-forward," Olivia replied, with slight hesitation. She wondered how much she could trust with Elliott, seeing as how she hadn't told him about Casey. She suspected he knew, however, because of the amount of time she spent with the ADA both on and off the clock. "Say, Elliott, it's crazy Abbie turning up like that, isn't it." She stated, hoping to sound calmer than she felt. Underneath her desk she rubbed sweaty palms on her slacks, waiting to see if El took the bait.

Elliott looked at Olivia and wondered what she was really asking. She seemed to need some reassurance, a pull back to reality, or maybe even just a non-committal response to open up communication. "Yeah, she looks great doesn't she? Texas really seems to have agreed with her. Did she mention what brought her back to town?" Elliott's response was shallow, allowing Olivia to control the depth of the conversation.

"Jack called her up with an offer she couldn't refuse..." Olivia began. Sighing and cradling her head in her hands she whispered "But what if she's come back for me? What do I do then?"

"Live? C'mon. Let's take a walk. Tell Uncle Elliott all about it." He joked, trying to lighten the mood again.

Olivia threw on her coat and followed Elliott outside like a puppy. They walked in silence for about ten minutes before Olivia spoke. "I'm involved with Casey," she stated simply, looking at the ground.

"I know," came Elliott's quick reply. "Do you love her?"

"Yes. Maybe. It could be love." Olivia's confusion was evident in her reply. "It's not like it was with Abbie, you know? It doesn't have that ease, that sense of "home". But what if that's all in my head anyway? What if that's just my heart repainting the past? Remind me Elliott. What was it like?"

"Oh Liv," Elliott pulled the tall woman in for a hug. "Sweetie, it's not fair to compare the two. Abbie was different, your first in so many ways. The two of you together? Yeah, I was there from the beginning and it was beautiful to watch. You fit. But I see you now with Casey and you fit in different ways. You're two halves of the same person, so similar in your determination and drive. Abbie was your compliment, your matching puzzle piece. Case is your mirror. You can't compare the two. You shouldn't compare the two."

"Then how do I decide which one is right, which is a good choice?" Liv questioned, frustration in her voice.

"When it's right, you'll know. Your instincts are good. Trust them. No one's asking you to decide right now. Did Abbie say she was back for you?"

"No, she said she made the decision independent of me. But the hug, the looks... Shit!" Live shook her head, anguish evident in her voice. "In the meantime, what do I tell Casey? She's going to know something's up."

"Be honest with her. Trust her enough, respect her enough, to tell her the truth." Elliott responded softly. "You owe her that much."

"Yeah. I do love her, ya now?" Liv whispered, almost to herself.

"Elliott nodded in agreement, wondering all the while which woman Olivia truly meant.


	4. Chapter 4

Abbie sat in stunned silence, watching Olivia walk out the café door. She took deep breath after deep breath as she tried to sort through her thoughts. 'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all,' she mused silently. Their "date" had been pleasant and the conversation wandered shallowly along, but the underlying tension kept Abbie's stomach in knots. The question arose again - what did she want from Olivia? Obviously more than friendship, that much was clear. The more pressing question, however, was what did Olivia want from her?

Leaving a tip on the table, Abbie rose and pulled on her hoodie, thinking that a quick visit to the office would be a suitable distraction. Not caring that she was still wearing her jogging clothes, not really even noticing the chill of the afternoon air, Abbie began jogging towards the District Attorney's office.

Jack McCoy stopped midway up the stairs and waited for Abbie to catch up. "Is this what they call business casual in Cowville?" Jack questioned, an amused smirk on his face.

"Longhorn gear is standard issue, thank you very much." Abbie rejoined with an answering grin. "I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by to check out the 'new digs' as you suggested."

"Well then, let me be the first to welcome you. Let me introduce you to Catherine, my assistant and your interior decorator." Jack held the door open for Abbie, following her into the imposing building.

Surrounded by well-dressed, Armani-clad men and women, Abbie was suddenly intensely aware of her own grungy jogging clothes. If Jack noticed Abbie's sudden nervousness, he didn't give a sign. Instead he continued his monologue about colleagues, job duties, office locations, and a host of other information about her new career path.

At last he reached the clear, glass double doors etched with pertinent information - "Offices of the New York District Attorney" - followed by a list of names. Abbie was surprised and pleased to see her own etched into the glass at the bottom. It gave her hope that perhaps this was a good omen, one that would lead to the establishment of roots in this familiar community, the woman she loved at her side.

"...is Catherine." Jack finished, gesturing towards the slender, petite blonde behind the oak desk. Catherine stood up, reaching out towards Abbie with a welcoming handshake.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you Miss Carmichael. Jack has told me so much about you, I feel like I know you already." Catherine stated, her voice pleasant. Immediately Abbie warmed to the younger woman, sensing that Catherine would be not only an ally in this office, but perhaps a friend outside of work.

"Call me Abbie." She replied, her husky voice filled with a sudden nostalgia. It was then that she realized how much Catherine reminded her of Laura, her first college love. "Thank you so much for all of the work you put into decorating that wonderful apartment. I felt right at home." Abbie continued with a smile, quickly regaining her composure.

"It really was my pleasure Abbie. I was worried I'd gone a bit overboard, but when I was finally finished I really liked the effect of the place. It felt so warm and inviting that I..." Catherine's voice trailed off as she began blushing. "I'm sorry, I get a little carried away sometiems. Design is really my passion. I'm finishing up my masters at NYU and then hopefully someday I'll have my own design firm."

"Well, if the opportunity comes up I'll be recommending you to everyone I know." Abbie smiled, hoping to put Catherine at ease, while at the same time enjoying the friendly banter.

"Excuse us please Catherine," Jack interrupted, "but I think I'll drag Abbie off to her office now. Maybe I can squeeze some work out of her ahead of schedule."

"It was nice to meet you Catherine." Abbie stated with a smile as she turned to follow Jack down the long hallway.

"Same here Abbie." Catherine replied, her heart hammering in her chest as she realized that this work situation was about to get interesting. There was no mistaking the flirtation behind Abbie's banter, and Catherine was stunned by Abbie's dark eyes and easy smile. 'Yes,' Catherine thought, 'this was going to be interesting."


	5. Chapter 5

Exhausted from her reunion with Abbie, Olivia fumbled with the keys before finding the right one for her front door. As she walked into her quiet, sparsely decorated apartment she shrugged off her jacket, tossed her keys into the bowl on the entry table, and headed to the kitchen for a beer. Popping the cap off, she took a long drink and wandered over to the answering machine where the red light was blinking furiously.

The first message was a wrong number, the second a telemarketer. The third was the one she'd simultaneously anticipated and dreaded. "Hey Liv, it's me. I tried calling your cell. Did you leave it in your desk again? Anyway, I got a guilty verdict in the Toscano rape case and wanted to celebrate with my favorite detective. Give me a call when you get this. Everyone from work has already headed out for drinks."

Torn between ignoring the message and calling Casey to plead work, Olivia listened to the message again. The cheerfulness in her voice caused Liv's stomach to knot up. What she'd said earlier, her aside to Elliot, was a reference to Casey. She really did love her, more than she liked to admit. Trouble was, Abbie would always have a special piece of her heart. Olivia couldn't deny that, and as much as she adored Casey, that old love for Abbie was just below the surface, begging to be brought forward and examined.

Pulling out a chair, Liv sat down heavily and rested her head in her hands, all of the conflicting thoughts racing through her brain: images of her with Abbie, and, more recently, with Casey. In each of the images she was happy, laughing, obviously in love. How was she supposed to make a decision like this?

The jangling of the phone broke through her swirling thoughts, and she snatched it up, quickly glancing at caller ID. "Hey babe, I just got in. Congratulations on your win!" Liv forced herself to sound enthusiastic.

"Thanks! Are you coming to join us?" questioned Casey, the noise of the bar loud in the background.

Liv paused, trying to reign in her stormy emotions, and in a calm, upbeat voice replied, "Sure thing, just let me change. I'll be there in twenty."

"Great! Love you babe!" Casey responded, and Liv could hear the smile in her voice.

"Love you too." Liv replied with quiet sincerity. Fortunately Casey was so wrapped up in her victory celebration that she didn't notice the change in Olivia's tone. Olivia hung up quickly, wandering down the hall to rummage through her closet for something dressier than detective clothes. There were times when she wished she owned more than one pair of nice black pants, but knew that the pair she did own would be clean. She and Casey rarely went out on "dates," too great a chance that they'd be seen in public and linked romantically. Work celebrations such as the one tonight were perfectly acceptable, but one-on-one was not allowed.

Throwing on a change of clothes and touching up her makeup, Liv rushed back out the door hoping that a drink and time spent with her girlfriend would ease the knot in her stomach and lift the weight from her heart.

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Across town Abbie was also trouble by conflicting emotions. Seeing Olivia, spending time with her, had aroused deep emotions that Abbie had spent months pushing aside. On the other hand, there was Catherine. This thought caused her to pause for a moment. Abbie reflected on Catherine further, considering this enticing new idea. Never one to push, she decided to play it casually and invite Catherine to dinner as a thank you for decorating the apartment. Torn between calling now on the off-chance that Catherine was still at work and waiting to do it in person when she officially started work, Abbie nervously picked up her phone and began dialing the assistant's direct line.

"Catherine Van Allen," came the brisk greeting.

Abbie paused, taking a deep breath as she wondered just what the hell she was doing.

"Hello?"

"Uh . . . hey . . . hello Catherine, it's Abbie Carmichael." Blushing furiously, Abbie was grateful she'd decided to do this via a phone call. She felt like a teenager again.

"Hi Abbie. All settled in?" Catherine asked, curiosity lacing an unasked question.

"No. Yeah. I mean . . . Yes, the place is perfect." Taking a deep breath Abbie continued, "that's actually why I was calling. I wanted to take you to dinner as thanks for doing such an amazing job. Or, you know what, why don't I cook for you, give you the opportunity to enjoy the place from a different perspective." Startled herself by the last part of the invite, Abbie almost missed Catherine's response.

"That would be great! When were you thinking?"

"How about the day after tomorrow? I'm still looking for my cookbooks." Abbie grinned while her palms sweated in nervousness.

Laughing, Catherine replied, "Sounds perfect. Say 8 o'clock? Can I bring something? Wine maybe?"

"Just yourself. I'll take care of the rest."

"Alright. Oh, and Abbie?"

"Catherine?" she replied, hearing the smiling flirtation in Catherine's voice.

"It's a date. See you then."

"Looking forward to it."

After saying goodbye, Abbie wandered into the kitchen and dug through the boxes looking for her cookbooks, thinking about which dishes would make the best first impression.


	6. Chapter 6

"You've been kinda quiet tonight babe. Is everything okay?" Casey shot a concerned glance at Olivia, walking with her shoulders hunched and a look of fierce determination on her face. The drinks hadn't relaxed her like she'd hoped, and the knowledge that she was going to be forced into a discussion with Casey about this settled in her stomach like a twenty pound weight.

"Liv?"

"Why don't you come on up with me and we'll talk," Olivia stated, noticing that they were near her apartment building. She grimaced as she realized how abrupt that sentence had sounded. "I mean, you're right that something is bothering me, but we can… This isn't coming out right and now I'm making it sound worse than it is. Just come upstairs please." Liv ended with a soft plea. Casey placed her hand on Olivia's arm, studied her briefly, and brushed a light kiss across her lips.

"Whatever it is, we'll figure it out together." Casey calmly took Olivia's hand and led her into the building.

While Olivia hung up their coats and tidied up a bit, Casey opened two Heineken and walked into the living room. "Spill it detective. Whatever has you so quiet and serious needs to be out in the open, so let's hear it." Casey was always "no nonsense" in her communication with Olivia. Whether it was at work or play she was a straight-shooter, something Olivia relied on when she struggled to share her thoughts.

Taking a deep breath Olivia began, "I ran into Abbie the other day. She's back. From Texas."

"Okay," Casey replied slowly, "So, how are you feeling?"

The question broke through Olivia's stoic attitude. Her eyes welled up and her throat constricted as she answered in a whisper, "I don't know." She looked helplessly at her girlfriend, her best friend, wanting more than anything to have an answer that sounded more reassuring. But her response was truthful. Since the moment Abbie rounded that corner, Olivia's life had been in turmoil. She couldn't catch her breath, let alone think this through rationally.

"Do you love her? Do you want to try again? Does she want to work this out? Did you talk about this with her?" Casey rapid-fired questions in Olivia's direction, rising from the couch to pace and think, not really expecting Olivia to answer. Crossing the room to the window, Casey gazed out at the New York City skyline. "Strike those questions, Liv, and answer this one – Do you love me?"

"God yes, Casey!" Olivia exclaimed vehemently. "That hasn't changed. The moment we met I knew that you and I would have something special, something powerful. You soothed and healed me. You made me whole again." Olivia's tear-stained eyes met Casey's tormented gaze, and Olivia stood up to embrace Casey firmly. "Never think I don't love you," she whispered fiercely into Casey's ear, holding her tightly.

For a moment Casey allowed herself to be held by this woman, enjoying the familiar strength of her arms, the softness of her body, the unique scent that was so much a part of Olivia. 'Olivia is mine' Casey thought over and over, until she was certain that it was true. Pulling back she looked into Olivia's eyes and calmly commanded, "Then go figure this mess out with Abbie. I'll be here for you when you've had time to think." Kissing Olivia once more, she then headed resolutely out the door and into the cold city night.


	7. Chapter 7

The ringing of the buzzer brought Abbie back to reality. She'd been staring into the pot of boiling pasta, hypnotized by the rising bubbles, thinking about this evening's date with Catherine as well as her tension-filled talk with Olivia the other day. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she responded to the buzzer and invited her houseguest up to the new apartment. In moments Catherine was at the door, cheeks rosy from the brisk chill outside, and Abbie escorted her in while taking her coat and scarf to hang on the nearby coat rack.

"Abbie, it smells wonderful in here!" exclaimed Catherine, smiling at her host. Producing a bottle of wine she continued, "I hope this is the right kind. I'm hopeless at picking out wines. I had a friend recommend it."

"It's perfect, thanks. Let me grab the corkscrew and we'll try it out while we wait for dinner to finish cooking. Come on into the kitchen," Abbie commanded, a smile in her voice as she held the bottle in one hand and her guest's hand in the other.

"I hope you like pasta. I whipped up a sauce that's so good you'll want to take a bath in it, " Abbie promised, teasing the blonde as she poured a glass of wine for each of them. "My mama used to make it in huge vats. With an older sister and three younger brothers, leftovers were rare in our house."

"Five of you? Your mother is a saint," Catherine teased back, enjoy a sip of the wine and the light banter between herself and the tall brunette.

"She certainly was," Abbie replied, her tone changing subtly. There was a brief silence while Catherine watched Abbie mentally shake off the mood, and then Abbie grinned at her and said "Tell me about your family."

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Two hours later the women found themselves engrossed in a debate about college football, Catherine having admitted to a loyalty to OU, thus taking the opposing side in the Red River Rivalry.

"Are you kidding? Colt McCoy can out-quarterback what's-his-name any day of the week and twice on Sundays!" Abbie exclaimed, her Texas drawl becoming more noticeable as the evening continued. "Tell you what, the big game is in a couple of weeks. You, me, some beer and wings, and we'll see who's the team to beat."

"You're on!" Catherine joked. Glancing at her watch, she rose from the couch. "It's getting late. I'd better get home."

Abbie watched Catherine rise, her stomach clenching with nervousness. She'd really enjoyed the evening, with thoughts of Olivia at a minimum, but she was uncertain as to how the night should end. She stood in front of the other woman, feeling her pulse quicken, and spoke in a husky voice, "I'm really glad you came over. I…"

Catherine leaned in, her soft lips briefly meeting Abbie's. Stepping back she waited for Abbie's reaction, which was not long in coming. Abbie stepped towards her again, pulling Catherine to her gently, and kissed her again, lingering and enjoying the sensation of holding the other woman.

Without warning, Olivia's face flashed through Abbie's brain and she pulled back. "Thanks…" she stammered. "I mean… ummm…", flustered she stopped speaking and, after a quick glance at Catherine's confused amusement, she smiled nervously in response. "Sorry. It seems I'm out of practice with these things."

"It didn't feel like you were out of practice a minute ago," Catherine replied with a grin. "Thank you for a fantastic evening." And with that, Catherine slid into her coat, kissed Abbie on the cheek, and headed out the door.

Abbie leaned against the heavy door, trying to catch her breath. Olivia. She had to figure out what was between them before dragging some poor, unsuspecting person into the middle of this mess. With determination she picked up her cellphone and dialed the familiar number.

"This is Olivia. I'm not available to take your call, but if you leave a message I'll get back to you."

"Liv. It's me. We need to talk. Give me a call." Abbie left the short message, hung up and began to pace, thoughts racing through her brain and twisting her stomach into a ball of anxiety. Suddenly she stopped, realizing that she knew exactly who could advise her through this tangled web. She dialed quickly, breathing a prayer that there would be a live person on the other end.

"Jack? Can you meet me tonight? McSorley's? Perfect. I can be there in twenty minutes. You're the best!" Abbie grabbed her keys and coat, hurrying to the pub for some much-needed guidance.


	8. Chapter 8

The reminder alarm beeped again, this time finally rousing Olivia. She rubbed her bleary eyes and sat up, disoriented. The throbbing in her skull and the narrowness of the couch reminded her of the events from the previous night. Her confusion over Abbie… her conversation with Casey… mass quantities of beer… And there was that damned beep again. Liv stumbled to her cell phone to silence the annoying sound and saw the missed call ID. Abbie. Her stomach twisted and she dropped the phone, sprinting to the bathroom.

Later, while lying on the cool bathroom floor Olivia wondered what the hell she was thinking. Her aching head made clarity difficult, but she was able to reason out that she had missed Abbie, she loved Casey, and she definitely shouldn't drink so much in one sitting. She pondered her inability to maintain long relationships. Was it self-sabotage? Did she really want to be with Abbie, or was this just another excuse to break things off with Casey?

She groaned and sat up, reaching to turn on the shower. Filling a glass with water, she popped open the Excedrin bottle and shook out two white tablets. 'Maybe a shower will help me face Abbie's message,' she thought grimly.

Abbie lay in bed watching the sun rise, pondering her own conversation from last night. There was definitely chemistry with Catherine, and Abbie was curious how deep it might go. Maybe Jack was right. Holding onto the ghost of a relationship just causes people to grow old and bitter. 'He should know,' Abbie thought, grinning. Maybe she and Olivia could just clear the air once and for all, realize there was just a memory between them, and call it a day. Closure, that's what they needed.

Abbie felt as if a weight had lifted from her shoulders. She climbed out of bed and grabbed some clothes for an invigorating run. Clarity, thanks to Jack, made the world seem brighter. She was almost out the door when the phone rang. Seeing the number on caller ID, she felt her moment of clarity grow hazy.

"Hey Liv!" She forced her voice to sound light.

"Hey…" There was an uncomfortable pause until Liv finally continued, "Got your message. Are you free now?"

"Sure, I was just heading out for a run, but…" she let the statement fall, waiting and unable to gauge Olivia's mood.

"Wanna meet at the coffee shop near the park? Should give you a nice run, right?" Olivia replied, sounding almost relieved to delay the meeting, even if only by fifteen minutes.

"Sounds good. See you in a bit." Abbie closed the phone, noticing her hand shaking slightly. Maybe Jack wasn't so right after all.

The jog over helped ease some of Abbie's tension, but it returned full force the moment she saw Olivia heading into the coffee shop. 'Now or never baby!' she thought, attempting to boost her courage slightly. "Hey there stranger!" she exclaimed with false bravado. Olivia stood up, and the two hugged awkwardly before sliding into opposite sides of the booth.

"So…" Olivia began.

Abbie looked up expectantly, and then realized that Liv wasn't going to continue. "So…" she replied. "I was thinking…"

"How y'all doin' this mornin'?" interrupted the waitress. "Our specials today… Hey now, wait just a minute! Abigail Carmichael! You didn't tell me you were back in town. And here with your beautiful, er, friend…" she trailed off lamely. Trying again, she commented, "Honey, look at you all skinny. Don't you eat in Texas?" and suddenly the waitress was scooping Abbie up in a big bear hug, smothering Abbie's response.

"Hey now Vera, you're liable to break something," Abbie joked feebly, pulling back. "Yup, back in town. Didn't expect to see you working today though. I'd have thought being the boss you'd have weekends off," Abbie stammered, shooting a helpless look in Olivia's direction.

"Well, Hank fired the weekend girl, so I'm filling in. I'll bring y'all coffee and let you girls have some privacy." Vera turned and headed to the kitchen, having remembered that Abbie and Olivia hadn't exactly parted on friendly terms.

"Sorry 'bout that," Abbie mumbled, moving her silverware nervously. "I forgot…"

"Don't worry. Seems like she's getting the message. Anyway, where were we?"

Abbie dived right in. "I've been thinking about us. I don't know what I expected when I moved back. Maybe I thought you'd have waited. Maybe I'd have gotten over you. I don't know. Jack says to let it go. He says your girlfriend, Casey, is wonderful. And I've been seeing someone too. Well, just one date, but… I don't know," Abbie rambled, hands gesturing erratically. At the pause, her hands dropped to the table.

Olivia reached over, placing her hands on top of Abbie's. "I understand." She looked into Abbie's brown eyes and felt that familiar pull of desire. She remembered this woman, her laughter, her moans, the feel of her skin, holding her. The conflict inside her grew and she pulled her hands away.

"Maybe a walk would be better," she whispered hoarsely.

Abbie stood up, grabbing Olivia's hand and shouting, "Vera, hold the coffee! We'll try it some other time!" Together they walked quickly out the door and onto the crowded sidewalk. They didn't get very far before Abbie pushed Olivia into a doorway, leaning up against her.

"Liv…" she sighed, running her hands up Olivia's arms, feeling her strong shoulders, caressing her jaw line before pulling her for a kiss. It was electric; familiar and new simultaneously. Abbie's mind registered only one thought, 'Oh shit, now I've done it.'


End file.
